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Jan. 22nd, 2008

I was talking to my dad over the holidays, and I mentioned that I wished I had more time for my hobbies and the things I love - I'm not even reading or writing very much any more. He told me that it was very important for me to set aside time to write regularly. I was a little surprised at how adamant he was, actually. At any rate, he's right.

LJ has a section on the front page called "Writer's Block" where they post a question regularly. I think it's daily, but I'm not positive. I'm going to try to remember to answer that question if I don't have something else to write about.

Today's question: What do you want to be when you "grow up?"

There are a lot of easy answers to the question: older, wiser, thinner, happy, wealthy, healthy. I've been tossing all of those out for years, to evade the real question.

It used to mean "what job do you want?" When I was little, I wanted to own a candy store. (I also wanted to live with my brother and adopt twelve children.) Later, someone suggested that I should get my MLS and be a librarian. It wouldn't have been a bad choice for someone of my mindset, and I still consider it a possibility if I get tired of being a paralegal. It never really inspired me, though.

People always told me I should be a doctor, because my handwriting was so bad. Some suggested I should be a teacher. Now, I get asked if I'm planning to go to law school and become a lawyer myself. The answer is a resounding NO to all three.

What I really wanted, for the longest time, was to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. In my heart of hearts, I still do, but I'm resigned to the fact that it is not going to happen without rather a lot of effort on my part, which I am unlikely to provide.

I've spent quite a bit of time over the years searching for a vocation. At present, it's not a potential career path. The other results of my search are a story for a different day.

I want to make a difference in people's lives. I know I do that in my job, and I hope I do in my personal life as well. I want to be someone who people like to spend time with. I think the standing offers I have to go visiting in half-a-dozen states speak well for my success at that.

I want to be happy with myself, and like who I am. That has been an ongoing task for many years, and will continue, I'm sure. I'm getting there, a little at a time.