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Dear Liz:


Dear Liz:

You always looked at the world from a different angle. I could never have thought the way you did, nor would I have wanted to, but listening to your perceptions certainly expanded mine. And I think that understanding more about other people helps me to understand myself better.

Even now, I can only think of you with very strong mixed feelings. At times, I had a lot of fun with you, and I learned a lot from you. But at the same time, there was so much that went so drastically wrong. There was so much hurt on all sides. And just as the happiness cannot be forgotten, neither can the pain.

We were all so young, so confused. So many things were handled wrong. The only thing I'm proud of, out of the whole sordid tale, was that we kept it from spreading. After your year abroad, you got the chance to come back and start mostly fresh. Those who hadn't been there at the time knew only that there was past history which made things awkward, not the details. I worked very hard to make that happen. After all, just a month in Egypt had made a huge difference to me, so it made sense that a year in Germany could make as much or more to you.

And you and I managed to establish a tentative friendship again. We were both afraid to trust and open up, and we were both haunted by our memories. But we were both made the effort to meet each other halfway for a little while. That doesn't sound like much on the face of it, but it's an accomplishment I feel we both deserve to be proud of.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
soupkills
Sep. 24th, 2003 02:10 pm (UTC)
Why the cut for content?

On a different note, have you thought about where you stop?
collacentaur
Sep. 24th, 2003 02:22 pm (UTC)
Because I can see a couple of people who read my journal who might decide they don't want to read this one, and don't want to think about it.

Where I stop in what sense?

Where I stop the cuts and go back to regular text? Yes.

Where I stop each individual essay? When I run out of words, pretty much. Some of them end neatly, others are kind of abrupt.

Where I stop writing about people? Again, when I run out. I have another 14 people on my list at present (and 23 completed). That might change, because I've been adding and subtracting as I go along. Currently the last person on my list is Katie because she's the one I met most recently. And I might well go back and fill in some of the people I took out before.

And if the question is, am I really going to be ready to take on writing about Jeff in another month or two - Yes, I think so. I know what I would say about him now isn't exactly what I might say in another six months, or two years. But then, that's true of everybody else as well.
soupkills
Sep. 24th, 2003 02:47 pm (UTC)
That was more senses then I'd thought of, actually. :) I was mostly thinking of sense 3. Have you thought about going back and adding these as memories?
collacentaur
Sep. 25th, 2003 08:44 am (UTC)
Yep. Just haven't done anything about it yet.
ourika
Sep. 25th, 2003 10:21 am (UTC)
How cna they not be her memories if she is remembering them here?
soupkills
Sep. 25th, 2003 10:34 am (UTC)
Silly. LJ has a feature that lets you specify certain entries as "memories" and categorize them. Then you (or someone else) can easily view a list of them.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )