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Aug. 19th, 2004

I understand fanfic. I wouldn't read it if I didn't. Sometimes you just want more story. Sometimes the original cries out loud to be fixed. I don't write it, because I know I wouldn't get the characters quite right. Then again, often neither do the people who are writing it.

I understand slash, although it's not usually my thing. If it's well written and a reasonable pairing, though, I'll take it. Not so happy about the stories where everyone turns out to be gay. Even all-female colleges, while they often seem to live up to their reputations, do have some straight women.

I can't say I understand rape/pregnancy fantasies, but I certainly recognize their prevalence. Heck, walk down the romance section of a book store some time, and count the number of titles that contain the word "baby." Pregnant romances are very common, with or without the rape.

But for god's sake, it is just WRONG for Harry Potter to be raped and impregnated by a Death Eater, and then comforted and convinced to keep the baby by Draco Malfoy, who switches sides in a dramatic display of his hitherto hidden love!

Sadly, in the first couple of sections of this particular nightmare, the writing was almost good. So I kept reading. And then I had to keep reading, because I couldn't take my eyes away from the train wreck. It included such gems as (quotes are actually paraphrased):

Two 17-year-old boys, who make very convincing 17-year-old girls bearing absolutely no resemblance to the characters whose names they bear. Fortunately, no one will notice, because nearly all the other characters are similarly off. In fact, I think Neville was about the only one I believed.

Narcissa Malfoy leaving her husband, moving to Hogwarts, and eventually getting engaged to Severus Snape.

"Male pregnancy isn't very common." No shit, Hermione.

The Christmas scene that Would Not End.

"I'm fat, ugly, and no longer masculine enough to invite someone to the Valentine's Dance!" Then why am I going to read for another ten minutes about you agonizing over it, Harry?

The Potions class utterly disrupted when the baby moved.

The baby, mind you, with an extraordinary talent for magic and the ability to see outside the womb. And an obsessive fixation on Fur Elise, which I may never be able to listen to again.

The Gay Pregnant Wedding.

Followed, inexorably, by the Gay Pregnant Wedding Night. And if you can't write a believable sex scene, why not just fade to black? And, even if you think it's believable, why would you not at least let both of them get off? C'mon, give it to them as a wedding present, the author can do that.

And oh, yes, the labor. I wasn't surprised by the complications, under the circumstances. But, before it reaches that stage, I have a problem with the logic. If, since this is a male giving birth, the delivery has to be accomplished either by magic or by surgery, WHY would the medical professional in charge assess that he will be in labor for at least 3-5 hours before delivery? What possible purpose could that serve?

If anyone wants to experience this for themselves, it's here and the story in questions is His Daughter's Father.

I now feel the need to get the badness out of my brain. I'm going to go re-read Slytherin Rising, which is GOOD HP AU fanfic (available here and elsewhere.

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Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
soupkills
Aug. 19th, 2004 03:49 pm (UTC)
Ahh, the absolute weirdness that is mpreg. :)
collacentaur
Aug. 19th, 2004 03:59 pm (UTC)
It's not just the mpreg. It's Harry Potter plus mpreg plus really, really bad mangling of characters...
soupkills
Aug. 19th, 2004 04:36 pm (UTC)
Actually, HP mpreg makes more sense than some. At least you have the magic to handle all those unfortunate biological issues.
collacentaur
Aug. 19th, 2004 04:39 pm (UTC)
Granted.

But it's still just WRONG!

(Now, if I encountered one where Sirius and Remus were having a kid, it wouldn't bother me nearly so much - that's a slash pairing that at least makes sense.)
(no subject) - oidhche - Aug. 19th, 2004 06:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
collacentaur
Aug. 19th, 2004 06:29 pm (UTC)
Re: This does not exist in my world.
Yeah, see, until yesterday it didn't exist in mine either. I had to share.

Be glad you weren't on AIM with me last night while I was reading it. crifmer got a running commentary...
ourika
Aug. 19th, 2004 11:44 pm (UTC)
Re: This does not exist in my world.
I feel left out. No running commentary?
crifmer
Aug. 20th, 2004 02:44 am (UTC)
Re: This does not exist in my world.
Oh don't feel left out.... believe me...

*shudder*
ourika
Aug. 20th, 2004 03:27 am (UTC)
Re: This does not exist in my world.
*giggles* Yes, but horrors that should never even be joked at can often amuse me (unless they're really scary and make me run and hide).
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )