Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Sep. 25th, 2002

S is coming to visit. She’s flying in from France tonight. I miss her so much - it’s been well over a year since I saw her last, probably closer to two. It’s funny how you can go so long barely thinking of someone, then get reminded about them and have it hit you like a ton of bricks. S and I used to be really close friends. Not as close as turtle_morn, who was my roommate and constant companion for three years, and nothing is as close as that, but we spent an awful lot of time together, and we worked as partners for six months. She’s probably spent more time with my family than any of my other friends, too - possibly still more than J has. I guess that’s why she knew she could call me up and ask to sleep in my living room for a week.

Some days I really miss college. I couldn’t go back - I wouldn’t, even if I were paid. I’ve changed too much, haven’t the tolerance for the soap opera and associated histrionics. And I couldn’t bring myself to face the innumerable crises, real and imagined. But I really miss the good parts. I miss seeing the people who were only casual friends instead of close friends. I miss going to the Medfest table at the Commons and knowing there would always be people there I knew to eat and talk with. I miss the huggy cuddly interactions. Those who I still see regularly are still more physical than the average people, but it’s nothing like it used to be.

I miss fitting two or three people in an extra-long twin bed. J and I barely make do with a queen-size. I miss illegal pets, illegal candles, illegal alcohol... seems like there’s no thrill now that it’s perfectly all right to have all those things. I miss late-night diner runs - and not the Broadway diner, either, I mean the one in Chester. Before it went crappy. I miss filling up Room 7 and getting all of us 3 or 4 levels on the MUD before the Aide Station closed. I miss daniel and process names. And four-digit phone numbers, that could be remembered, instead of ten-digit phone number that have to be programmed into a cell phone.

And I miss having the big things I want in life to be a boyfriend, a Riker single, and a 3.2 GPA, instead of wanting a marriage, a house, and a $32,000 annual salary.

Well, as oidhche would say, there’s a lot of things I want in my life. At least I have a lot of the important ones. I have J, and my car, and our apartment, and a job. Some of my friends are still in the area, and I’m in touch with some of the others all the time. I’m really pretty lucky. And I get to see S tonight, and all week long. Can’t complain about that. Nope, I wouldn’t go back.



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 25th, 2002 09:29 am (UTC)
Misty water-colored meeeemories....
I miss starting classes, and buying books, and thanksgiving eve at the aide station, and blade boy, and waking up and hoping I didn't sleep through dinner again.

By the way, it's <lj user="soupkills">, which translates into soupkills. There's also an lj-cut that I don't know how to use. You should download semagic and use that, it has this stuff built in and does other nifty stuff, like flashing an icon in your system tray when your friends page is changed.
Sep. 25th, 2002 09:54 am (UTC)
Re: Misty water-colored meeeemories....
Unfortunately, I do this at work so I can't download anything.

We were wondering the other day if calling you at a weird hour and asking you where you were supposed to be would still work the same way...
Sep. 25th, 2002 12:11 pm (UTC)
what I miss...
I miss being awake at 4:00 am and knowing that there were at least 2 or 3 of my friends who were awake too that I could talk to. I miss starting classes. I miss researching stuff, and independent study with Hala. I miss squishing with C into a single bed, and watching the sun come up after a night of heart felt chat or just bullshit with friends. I miss late night trips to dunkin donuts, the way campus looks when the leaves change, and when it snows. I miss taking over the riker 1st lounge with my sewing machine and big bolts of fabric. The only commons food I miss are the mid nite breakfasts. I miss falling asleep with the lights on listening to C click away on the keyboard. I miss being able to walk out of my room barefoot and in my pajamas to someone else's room, down the hall or in another dorm. Its funny when you think back all you remember is the good stuff. The things about College you want to tell your kids about. Hoping you'll be lucky enough to actually be able have kids at all. Sometimes I think I wish I could go back to a life where my biggest worry was getting straight A's and having a boyfriend, or just someone to love me or even just someone to help me satisfy raging hormones =-)
But, that life is gone, I'm someone else now. I found the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with, and suddenly we're adults. Four years ago I was terrified I'd get pregnant. Now I pray to god that I'll be able to get pregant and have a family with this person who I love so much. I'd give up all those memories in heart beat if someone would promise me that I wouldn't be sick anymore;That I could start living a healthy life again, and that I'll be able to have a family with C. I'd give up the nostalgia, but not the people who helped me make the memories. They've been there for me through thick and thin. They are invaluable and I love them all. Life is about the present and the future. It's comforting to wax poetic about "simpler times" but I'm looking forward to the future with all of you in it. Simple or not. I miss the memories, but I miss you guys more.

Sep. 26th, 2002 08:52 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I was just commenting about this the other day... there's a lot I miss, a lot I don't miss...

And I know what you mean about not thinking about a person and then all of a sudden you realize just how much you've missed him or her.... happened to me just this evening after IMing someone I haven't spoken to in a while. All of a sudden it hit me just how much I missed her, and lots of memories flooded back.

I only wax melancholy and poetic in my own journal..

Here's to old friends, eh?
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )