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I've given up on trying to get to last weekend. I went to see daernhelm, we saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, about which I have many comments that I'm not going to make, and then I stopped by the PHOH on Sunday.

As for yesterday, daeron pretty much said it all here.

Today, however, I had a Plan, involving many things around the house. I hung the towel rack. I sorted and put away the boxes of stuff that oidhche gave me when he dismantled his kitchen. I moved the microwave out of my car and into place in my kitchen. And then, I headed to IKEA, to buy the bookcases I've been talking about for months.

I remembered to measure my car before I left, to make sure they'd fit, and determined that I thought they would - just - although I hadn't considered the width, and I think it's possible that they wouldn't fit anyway. I didn't think to check the directions, since I've been there before, but I got there with no wrong turns this time. I even thought to check the shelves and making sure they were in stock before I pulled my cart around.

I couldn't move the damn box.

A kind gentleman even offered to help me get them onto the cart, and there were plenty of IKEA employees around who would have helped with that and with loading my car. I wouldn't have been able to get them out when I got home again. (As it turns out, I probably wouldn't have been able to get them in in the first place, so I guess it's just as well, but still...)

I am so angry and frustrated. I thought this would be simple. Instead, it appears to be impossible. I truly despise having to give up on things I really want because of my limitations. I drove home in tears. And now, I want to punch a wall, or destroy something.

ETA: Obviously it's not completely impossible to acquire the bookcases. What's impossible is doing it the way I wanted. I wanted to just go and do it myself, to actually accomplish something I wanted on my own. Instead, I will have to do rather a lot of planning and organizing, to rent a van, and to ask yet another favor I can't repay from one or more of my friends. All in all, instead of being a simple joy, it becomes a stressful burden. And that's what I'm angry and frustrated about, not the fairly straightforward events of the day.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 21st, 2005 10:32 pm (UTC)
Can you go back with someone to help you carry it and (in case it doesn't fit) someone who's got a larger vehicle?
Aug. 21st, 2005 10:49 pm (UTC)
sorry, I just realized this was unclear, so I'm going back to edit it.
Aug. 21st, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC)
You shouldn't have to rent a van.

I've fit ikea bookcase boxes into my car before. :)
Aug. 21st, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
The length (81 inches) just barely fits. The width is about 3 inches too much. And that's with the front passenger seat pushed all the way forward - to get the extra width, I'd have to fold the driver's seat as well. And it wouldn't allow me to take the necessary day-laborer. ;-)
Aug. 21st, 2005 11:33 pm (UTC)
I usually actually leave them sticking out my trunk a bit, tie them down, and drive slow. I'm surprised about the width though... which bookshelves are they?
Aug. 21st, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
Billy - and the width wouldn't be a problem if I left them hanging out of the trunk. It's a bit over half an hour home, though, all but the last 5 minutes of it on the highway.
Aug. 22nd, 2005 12:23 am (UTC)
Bah. I drove into manhattan with 3 billy bookshelves hanging out of my trunk. :)
Aug. 22nd, 2005 01:02 am (UTC)
Yeah, but I bet you're a lot better at knots than I am...
Aug. 22nd, 2005 01:15 am (UTC)
bah. have an ikea guy tie you in to the trunk, cut them open on the other end. :)
Aug. 22nd, 2005 01:16 am (UTC)
Let me rephrase, avoiding the Swedish bondage fantasies...

Have an ikea guy tie the knots to hold the bookshelf into the trunk... :)
Aug. 22nd, 2005 01:23 am (UTC)

Or, for that matter, the theoretical help might be good at knots.
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 22nd, 2005 03:05 pm (UTC)
Bungee cords worry me. Rubber bands smart when one slips and hits you. The bungee cords are a lot bigger and stronger, and have those nasty hooks at the end.

This may seem like an irrational concern to you, but consider my dexterity/coordination...
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 22nd, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC)
Yes, thanks, I'm well aware of this...

However, I don't see my choice not to use bungee cords as being something that will prevent me from getting what I want in life. Twine, rope, and so on may be considered along the same lines as outdated technology, but they still work just fine, and are generally supported. In fact, according to the IKEA website, IKEA provides free twine in the loading area. (And roof racks, although I've never yet seen anyone taking advantage of that.) I might well have ended up using it, instead of the also-researched short term rental, if I'd had someone on the other end to help me move things. Which I didn't have, not because of any failure to deal with life, but because it honestly didn't occur to me that I couldn't do this by myself.

Despite everyone else's apparent fascination with the transportation details, which I had anticipated and was prepared to deal with one way or another, this was the point of my post - that it didn't occur to me that I couldn't do this by myself, and so I had to give up on getting the bookcases this weekend. Not forever, just this weekend and until I can find someone with spare time and an interest in helping.

So, yes, I have to deal, or not get what I wanted, in terms of acknowledging my lack of physical strength, and that this is too big a project for me to be able to do independently - in fact, since what I wanted was to do it yesterday by myself, I have to both deal and not get what I wanted. That is also life. As is getting angry and venting my frustration in my personal ranting space, for that matter.
Aug. 22nd, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
I object to my home being OH.
Aug. 22nd, 2005 04:38 pm (UTC)
I would, too.

Okay, so, I stopped by the illustrious Pearlman residence, where I was temporarily absorbed into the all-consuming maelstrom of the WWP?
Aug. 27th, 2005 01:00 pm (UTC)
Why aren't you commenting on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? I'd find your comments interesting.
Aug. 30th, 2005 06:01 pm (UTC)
OK. This week, I'll probably have time, so I'll write it.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )