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Question and Answer meme

How to play:
- Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile".
- I'll respond by asking you five questions to satisfy my curiosity.
- Update your journal with the answers to your questions.
- Include this explanation and offer to ask other people questions.

However, original to me and not the meme: I'm really bad at coming up with questions. I do like writing answers. So, if you're feeling charitable, instead of making me come up with more questions for you, ask me some more questions.

Questions from daeron and my answers:

1: What, specifically do you look for in a man? Not the physical, the rest.

A whole hell of a lot. I've actually been thinking and writing on this recently. First, here's a three-paragraph excerpt from a post (locked for other reasons) which I wrote about a week ago, regarding the description in my profile:

As for what I'm attracted to: Really, I'm looking for someone as complex and contradictory as myself. Strength and vulnerability. I'd like to be able to trust, to not have to be the one in control of every situation. I don't want to always have to be a dominant/aggressive personality. This is the personality side of the physical description, "someone who can make me feel small." I want to learn to let go, but I'm only going to be able to do that if I know someone else is holding on. And as for vulnerability, I don't trust, like, or believe in perfection. Real people have flaws. Real people who are interesting have deep flaws. The good ones also know they have flaws, and work to ameliorate them. And some of it is about admitting to vulnerability, admitting to emotions. Don't be afraid to cry.

Passion and patience. Not opposites at all, although it sounds good. Passion... So I talked about that above, for myself. Caring about things strongly, and being able to inspire others to feel strongly about them too. Having interests and hobbies, especially creative ones. Political opinions. Patience, to put up with my insecurities and idiosyncracies, with my temper, and with my equally quirky and difficult friends.

Extraordinary intelligence and common sense. I want to have to work to keep up. Anyone who doesn't challenge me, and inspire me, isn't worth my time. I want to have to keep learning and keep fighting to be good enough. But please, even if your head is in the clouds, could you keep your feet on the ground? The real world keeps going, no matter how engrossing the ideas may be.

...In addition to what I wrote there, some other essentials include: Honesty. The truth might hurt, maybe a lot, but it isn't going to change. A lie might not hurt up front, but it will eventually, one way or another, and it means that nothing else can be trusted. Communication. I spend so much time living inside my head and wondering what's really going on, doubting myself and my perceptions even when I have no reason to doubt. Don't let me make up reasons to doubt. Don't make me guess what's in your head. Tell me. Talk to me. Or show me. Just don't wall me out. Trust. Trust is hard. I struggle with it. But it doesn't work without mutual trust.

The most important one, a quote from a Dar Williams song: I want somebody who sees me. Someone who looks beyond the physical. Someone who likes the person I am, who thinks I'm beautiful. Someone who can put up with my insecurities and doubts, and my emotional flares. Someone who wants to know what I think and why. Someone who can handle the many contradictions in my nature. Someone who doesn't want to change me, but will help me when I try to change myself. Someone who could love me.

Of course there are other things, but those are the ones that come to mind as most important at the moment. Subject to change, naturally.

2: All other things being equal, what do you REALLY want to be doing, career-wise?

Truly all things being equal? Something akin to what a rabbi used to be for a Jewish community. A permanent scholar, whose job was to continue to learn and study. Therefore, a wise person, who would be asked to answer questions, settle disputes, and the like. Part student, but also part judge, part leader, part counselor.

3: You've traveled a bit. Where was the place to which you've gone that you loved the most?

That's hard. I'll have to go back to them all and see. *grin*

For beauty and for the potential that I could actually live there, Alaska. For the stunning awe and wonder of history, tied between Rome and Egypt - Rome having the advantage that I've studied more about it, Egypt having the advantage that I spent longer there.

But there are so many places I haven't been yet, that I would hate to choose now. Ask me again in 30 years.

4: You know more about religion(s) than many people I know. Share the one biggest insight you have about religion and/or faith.

Having studied religion, and religions, and faith as well, I know that I don't have any particular insight that others don't. But if I have to choose something, here's a whole lot of words for one concept:

I know that faith is very hard, especially in a secular society, especially if what you grew up in is antithetical to your nature. I know that my way is right for me, and most assuredly not right for others, and that for faith to be meaningful, each person has to find their own way. I know I want - no, need - to help others find what works for them even if it doesn't make any sense to me at all.

5: Share a memory you have of me. Something which, in your perception, defines who I am for you.

It's not one memory but a thousand little moments over the last thirteen-plus years, from a conversation in the hallway of BC before your interview with Dean Lawlor, to the other weekend when I came downstairs to ask you (and the other boys) how I looked before I went out to dinner. Packing your kitchen in the attic apartment in Summit. Old age jokes, and God help me, I have no idea how you managed dealing with us children. Discussing whether I could win against the guess-your-weight guy at Great Adventure. Sniping at each other because we drove each other crazy. Times when I've cried. Times when you've cried. Times when we've laughed. Decorating your door for your thirtieth birthday. Big Green Signs! (still on my computer.)

You're my big brother. And part of what being family means is that there isn't just one moment, but all of them.

Somewhat easier questions from tristam and my answers:

1. All your con posts lately have me wondering, if you went in costume what fictional/mythological character would you dress as?

I honestly have no idea. I mean, I have a Wonder Woman Halloween costume I've never used, but that's kind of lame. I want to turn this one around, to you and anyone else who reads this: Who would you dress me up as? What could I do effectively? I might be able to use suggestions.

2. When conversations turn to cool stuff that happened in college, what is the story you can't wait to share?

Depends on context, but it's usually a Medfest-related story unless it's about Egypt. The problem is, usually it's not the cool stuff that comes up, but the painful stuff.

3. What book or short story would you most like to see turned into a movie?

Well, I am very much looking forward to seeing the Game of Thrones series. I'm also eagerly awaiting the rest of the Narnia movies.

As for projects that I haven't heard rumored, I would love to see what someone could do with Katherine Kurtz's Deryni books, but I don't think that anything good would be commercially viable. However, a TV series based on the Sector General stories by James White could be very, very good and successful, I think.

I don't think small enough, clearly, since I can't think of anything that would make a good single movie.

4. As Empress of the Known Universe, what would your first edict be?

Walk a day in your enemy's shoes. Better still, live for a week inside their head, hearing their thoughts and feeling their emotions. Understand them as deeply as possible. Then take some time to think about your approach to them, and whether you can't find a better way.

...yes, universal peace is the goal, but I want it by fostering mutual understanding, not by fiat.

5. What is your most memorable moment of me?

A Halloween party at Craig's apartment in Millburn. You were dressed as an angel, I think, and you spent a large part of the party in the kitchen. You cooked the little meat pastries. Your booming laugh kept both rooms enlivened. It's not that the night was particularly significant in and of itself, but it makes a little capsule impression of how I think of you: a man of faith and good humor, in a domestic environment surrounded by friends and feeding both their bodies and their spirits.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 11th, 2010 12:13 am (UTC)
Who would you dress me up as? What could I do effectively? I might be able to use suggestions.

I think you'd look great as Andrea Heterodyne from Girl Genius.

Feb. 11th, 2010 02:27 am (UTC)
Resistance is futile. And here's one for you: What are your top 5 novels to recommend to an 11 year old?
Feb. 11th, 2010 03:16 am (UTC)
1. You have won an all-expenses-paid trip to the destination of your choice. Paperwork, language, scheduling, and so on will be no barrier. Where would you go?

2. What should no one leave home without?

3. Will you make a mix CD for me? (This is not really a question so much as an actual request. I think you have good taste and I'm interested in what you would pick for me.)

4. What's your favorite memory from your childhood that rarely comes up in conversation?

5. What question do you think I should have asked instead of this one?

As for recommendations, I'm really bad at picking age-appropriate. By 11, I had been turned loose on my dad's SF/fantasy collection with only a very few restrictions.

However, assuming that the 11-year-old was at my maturity and reading level at that age:

Rite of Passage by Alexei Panshin
The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein.
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.
Little Men by Louisa May Alcott (I didn't like Little Women until I was an adult, but I understood most of Little Men much earlier)
Watership Down by Richard Adams (This one I'm least confident about. I don't remember at what age I first read it.)
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 11th, 2010 04:06 am (UTC)
Good job with answering my evil questions!
I work very hard to know myself.

1. What historical lesson do you think more people need to remember?

2. If you could, and had to, change just one moment in someone else's life, what would it be?

3. Recommend a book which you know I haven't read, and tell me why.

4. So what's your favorite memory from college that I would remember as well? (Not necessarily one of me, just one I was there for or know about.)

5. You've just been arrested, you're getting your (mythical) one free phone call, and you know with certainty that the world is coming to an end in 20 minutes. Who do you call, and what do you tell them?
Feb. 11th, 2010 03:46 pm (UTC)
Futile, resistance is. Yoda didn't say that, but he should have.
Feb. 11th, 2010 04:12 pm (UTC)
1. What am I missing that I need to read/see/experience to up my geek cred? (I'm making a to-do list.)

2. Forget fifteen minutes of fame. You have fifteen minutes of being nearly omnipotent. Your changes will be lasting, you can go anywhere instantly, but you're limited to your own form and to what could reasonably be accomplished in that fifteen minutes. What's your agenda?

3. Who would others be surprised to learn that you respect or admire?

4. You're actually stopped on the street by honest-to-goodness aliens, and their translator device beeps and then spits out the cliche "Take me to your leader." What happens next?

5. My favorite question: What should I have asked you?

Edited at 2010-02-11 05:51 pm (UTC)
Feb. 11th, 2010 04:56 pm (UTC)
Sorry I'm not in a charitable mood, Stephanie, I tried but resistance is futile.
Feb. 11th, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC)
1. Pick a well-known historical event and give it an absurd twist. Describe the ensuing hijinks.

2. What's your living situation like right now? I know you're sharing space, but that's really all I know.

3. Choose a moment that we've shared that you want to remember forever.

4. Of all the shows you've been involved with, which was the most fun? Not necessarily the best performance, but the one you most enjoyed.

5. How are Charles and George doing these days, anyway? I miss them.
Feb. 11th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
Deryni Rising movie
There's actually a Deryni Rising movie in the works:


Ann Dupuis
Grey Ghost Press, Inc.
Feb. 11th, 2010 08:05 pm (UTC)
I cannot resist because I am futile.
Feb. 11th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
1. You and I have only met in person once or twice (I can only remember once). Yet, because of LiveJournal and other sites, and even games like this one, I feel like I know you, and your family, very well. Do you have a good sense of who I am? Are there things about me that I don't explain or talk about?

2. You have a weekend completely free. All of your obligations are taken care of, all of the housework is done. Someone anonymously donates the exact amount of money it will require for you to go where you really want to be. Where is it? Is it a place, or an event?

3. I've heard it said that yesterday's dream is today's goal and tomorrow's reality. What's the last thing you remember dreaming, and would it be good or bad if it became reality?

4. Do you think that maybe in 2010 someone OTHER than Jimmie Johnson could win the cup?

5. Same question you asked me. What book, movie, TV show and bit of music would you recommend that everyone should experience?
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )