Stephanie (collacentaur) wrote,

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Question and Answer meme

How to play:
- Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile".
- I'll respond by asking you five questions to satisfy my curiosity.
- Update your journal with the answers to your questions.
- Include this explanation and offer to ask other people questions.

However, original to me and not the meme: I'm really bad at coming up with questions. I do like writing answers. So, if you're feeling charitable, instead of making me come up with more questions for you, ask me some more questions.

Questions from daeron and my answers:

1: What, specifically do you look for in a man? Not the physical, the rest.

A whole hell of a lot. I've actually been thinking and writing on this recently. First, here's a three-paragraph excerpt from a post (locked for other reasons) which I wrote about a week ago, regarding the description in my profile:

As for what I'm attracted to: Really, I'm looking for someone as complex and contradictory as myself. Strength and vulnerability. I'd like to be able to trust, to not have to be the one in control of every situation. I don't want to always have to be a dominant/aggressive personality. This is the personality side of the physical description, "someone who can make me feel small." I want to learn to let go, but I'm only going to be able to do that if I know someone else is holding on. And as for vulnerability, I don't trust, like, or believe in perfection. Real people have flaws. Real people who are interesting have deep flaws. The good ones also know they have flaws, and work to ameliorate them. And some of it is about admitting to vulnerability, admitting to emotions. Don't be afraid to cry.

Passion and patience. Not opposites at all, although it sounds good. Passion... So I talked about that above, for myself. Caring about things strongly, and being able to inspire others to feel strongly about them too. Having interests and hobbies, especially creative ones. Political opinions. Patience, to put up with my insecurities and idiosyncracies, with my temper, and with my equally quirky and difficult friends.

Extraordinary intelligence and common sense. I want to have to work to keep up. Anyone who doesn't challenge me, and inspire me, isn't worth my time. I want to have to keep learning and keep fighting to be good enough. But please, even if your head is in the clouds, could you keep your feet on the ground? The real world keeps going, no matter how engrossing the ideas may be.

...In addition to what I wrote there, some other essentials include: Honesty. The truth might hurt, maybe a lot, but it isn't going to change. A lie might not hurt up front, but it will eventually, one way or another, and it means that nothing else can be trusted. Communication. I spend so much time living inside my head and wondering what's really going on, doubting myself and my perceptions even when I have no reason to doubt. Don't let me make up reasons to doubt. Don't make me guess what's in your head. Tell me. Talk to me. Or show me. Just don't wall me out. Trust. Trust is hard. I struggle with it. But it doesn't work without mutual trust.

The most important one, a quote from a Dar Williams song: I want somebody who sees me. Someone who looks beyond the physical. Someone who likes the person I am, who thinks I'm beautiful. Someone who can put up with my insecurities and doubts, and my emotional flares. Someone who wants to know what I think and why. Someone who can handle the many contradictions in my nature. Someone who doesn't want to change me, but will help me when I try to change myself. Someone who could love me.

Of course there are other things, but those are the ones that come to mind as most important at the moment. Subject to change, naturally.

2: All other things being equal, what do you REALLY want to be doing, career-wise?

Truly all things being equal? Something akin to what a rabbi used to be for a Jewish community. A permanent scholar, whose job was to continue to learn and study. Therefore, a wise person, who would be asked to answer questions, settle disputes, and the like. Part student, but also part judge, part leader, part counselor.

3: You've traveled a bit. Where was the place to which you've gone that you loved the most?

That's hard. I'll have to go back to them all and see. *grin*

For beauty and for the potential that I could actually live there, Alaska. For the stunning awe and wonder of history, tied between Rome and Egypt - Rome having the advantage that I've studied more about it, Egypt having the advantage that I spent longer there.

But there are so many places I haven't been yet, that I would hate to choose now. Ask me again in 30 years.

4: You know more about religion(s) than many people I know. Share the one biggest insight you have about religion and/or faith.

Having studied religion, and religions, and faith as well, I know that I don't have any particular insight that others don't. But if I have to choose something, here's a whole lot of words for one concept:

I know that faith is very hard, especially in a secular society, especially if what you grew up in is antithetical to your nature. I know that my way is right for me, and most assuredly not right for others, and that for faith to be meaningful, each person has to find their own way. I know I want - no, need - to help others find what works for them even if it doesn't make any sense to me at all.

5: Share a memory you have of me. Something which, in your perception, defines who I am for you.

It's not one memory but a thousand little moments over the last thirteen-plus years, from a conversation in the hallway of BC before your interview with Dean Lawlor, to the other weekend when I came downstairs to ask you (and the other boys) how I looked before I went out to dinner. Packing your kitchen in the attic apartment in Summit. Old age jokes, and God help me, I have no idea how you managed dealing with us children. Discussing whether I could win against the guess-your-weight guy at Great Adventure. Sniping at each other because we drove each other crazy. Times when I've cried. Times when you've cried. Times when we've laughed. Decorating your door for your thirtieth birthday. Big Green Signs! (still on my computer.)

You're my big brother. And part of what being family means is that there isn't just one moment, but all of them.

Somewhat easier questions from tristam and my answers:

1. All your con posts lately have me wondering, if you went in costume what fictional/mythological character would you dress as?

I honestly have no idea. I mean, I have a Wonder Woman Halloween costume I've never used, but that's kind of lame. I want to turn this one around, to you and anyone else who reads this: Who would you dress me up as? What could I do effectively? I might be able to use suggestions.

2. When conversations turn to cool stuff that happened in college, what is the story you can't wait to share?

Depends on context, but it's usually a Medfest-related story unless it's about Egypt. The problem is, usually it's not the cool stuff that comes up, but the painful stuff.

3. What book or short story would you most like to see turned into a movie?

Well, I am very much looking forward to seeing the Game of Thrones series. I'm also eagerly awaiting the rest of the Narnia movies.

As for projects that I haven't heard rumored, I would love to see what someone could do with Katherine Kurtz's Deryni books, but I don't think that anything good would be commercially viable. However, a TV series based on the Sector General stories by James White could be very, very good and successful, I think.

I don't think small enough, clearly, since I can't think of anything that would make a good single movie.

4. As Empress of the Known Universe, what would your first edict be?

Walk a day in your enemy's shoes. Better still, live for a week inside their head, hearing their thoughts and feeling their emotions. Understand them as deeply as possible. Then take some time to think about your approach to them, and whether you can't find a better way.

...yes, universal peace is the goal, but I want it by fostering mutual understanding, not by fiat.

5. What is your most memorable moment of me?

A Halloween party at Craig's apartment in Millburn. You were dressed as an angel, I think, and you spent a large part of the party in the kitchen. You cooked the little meat pastries. Your booming laugh kept both rooms enlivened. It's not that the night was particularly significant in and of itself, but it makes a little capsule impression of how I think of you: a man of faith and good humor, in a domestic environment surrounded by friends and feeding both their bodies and their spirits.

  • (no subject)

    It is so much more fun to be obsessing over how best to clean mouse pee off My Little Ponies instead of what the surgeon will say tomorrow.

  • (no subject)

    I stop by to skim briefly and catch up. An hour later, I realize that I can't even say "Hey, good job with what you're doing, I support…

  • Oops

    So, that last post was supposed to be under a filter, and I ended up submitting it too late at night and missed that. Apologies to those whose real…

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  • (no subject)

    It is so much more fun to be obsessing over how best to clean mouse pee off My Little Ponies instead of what the surgeon will say tomorrow.

  • (no subject)

    I stop by to skim briefly and catch up. An hour later, I realize that I can't even say "Hey, good job with what you're doing, I support…

  • Oops

    So, that last post was supposed to be under a filter, and I ended up submitting it too late at night and missed that. Apologies to those whose real…