I spent part of this weekend hanging out with friends, as I often do. One of them is a sweet and thoughtful guy, who did a couple little nice things for me - nothing important, along the lines of getting things from the kitchen so I didn't have to get up. He's just like that, it has absolutely no deep meaning.
But every time he did, I flinched, tensed, and in essence waited for the other shoe to drop. My reaction to someone doing something for me without my asking is to worry about the following questions: Did something go wrong that this is "making up" for? Was I supposed to do something I didn't and am I supposed to feel guilty about this? Is this going to be followed by a mood swing that I need to be ready for? Am I supposed to remember this for the next ten times when I can't get a response even if I ask?
I hope to God that the sweet person (I'd say "nice guy" but it would make
I need to relearn social dynamic. And how to relax, and how to trust. How to not drop to submissive at the first sign of a differing opinion. And how to interact with people who aren't passive-aggressive poster children.