?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Symbolism

I have a set of sheets that I haven't been able to make myself use in nearly ten years. I need to donate them to the Salvation Army or somewhere similar.

I bought them with Jeff, the same day my bed was delivered. The last time I used them was right after we broke up. Within about two weeks thereafter, at some friend's recommendation, I went out and bought a new set of bedding. The comforter that coordinates with the sheets is now part of the bedding I use with my inflatable mattress. But the sheets have been on a shelf or in a box ever since.

It's not that it was a bad relationship, or even a bad breakup. Jeff and I are still good friends, and the biggest reason we aren't closer is that I'm lousy at maintaining individual communication over distance. But because changing the sheets was the symbol of changing my life and moving on, I just can't bring myself to use them. I've kept them in case of emergencies, but with three other sets, how likely am I really to have to resort to the ones with a psychic aversion field?

And as averse as I am to using them myself, that's nothing compared to how I reacted when it crossed my mind to put them on the bed and make some new memories with Hugh. I recoiled so fast I nearly fell out of the shower.

It seems so ridiculous, and I think that may be the only reason I haven't gotten rid of them yet. There is NOTHING wrong with the sheets. The problem is in my head. But then, that's the point of symbols, isn't it -- to get into the head deeper than what the surface would indicate.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Tags:

Comments