What name should your parents have given you? I always wanted to be Angelina when I was little. My personality would be better suited by a good solid stolid Germanic-feeling name, I think.
Age: 25 and counting
Height: 5'7", give or take
Weight: 220+, not sure exactly. Time to make this one friends-only.
No really. Don't lie. How much do you weigh? Not lying, just plain not sure. Too much, regardless.
Ethnic Background: 65% English, 25% German, the rest other assorted Western European.
Hair: Medium brown with blond highlights, according to my mother some red highlights, and a little bit of grey sneaking in.
Complexion: Damn rotten.
Glasses/Contacts? Glasses. Contacts don’t work for me.
Are you missing any body parts? Some teeth, but that’s about it.
What's your Zodiacal sign: Born solidly under Leo. But I was born exactly a month early, and my personality is about half Leo, half Virgo.
Have you ever had parasites? Not that I know of.
What is the weirdest topic that interests you? I am going to have to think about this and fill it in some other time.
Do you like plastic? Depends on where. Not in my food.
Have you ever pretended to be a member of the opposite sex online? Undoubtedly.
Who's your favorite BeeGee? Barry, because I can’t remember the other names.
What's your favourite Broadway musical? Les Miserables
What's your preferred name for the penis? As in slang term, or as in pet name?
What's your favorite band? Dar Williams.
Do you cut? Cut what? I cut open the mail only ten minutes ago...
Do you have non-corporeal friends? Not really any more, but I did when I was little. Dammit, even my imaginary friends abandoned me in my adolescence!
Ebony or ivory? I like the song, yes.
What's the first feature you notice in the opposite sex? Eyes
If a Genie granted you three wishes, what would they be? Sadly, probably to wake up.
Do You actually like yourself? Some days. Not most.
Do you actually like others? Yes. but not all of them.
Do you like Pie? There is no dessert better than a good pecan pie.
If a train is leaving Miami at 500mph heading towards San Diego, not stopping even when it gets there, and drives right into the water, what happens? A big splash.
What's your favorite crayon color? Green.
Would you kill someone for me? No.
Is there hair down there? Yeah, unless I feel inspired, and I don’t.
Sitar music or bag-pipes? Depends on my mood. Sitar makes better background music; bagpipes make me feel nostalgic.
Sex or Money? Not enough of either.
Have you ever been in love? Of course.
Do you have an irrational fear of rabbits? No, but my boyfriend does... but only if you call them Bunnies.
What's your best feature? Your worst? Best, probably my hair. Worst? Oy. So many.What's your bedtime? Around 12 most nights.
Ever have the strange urge to wipe shit on yourself? How about on others? Never.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a monkey? Not into monkeys, sorry
What is your greatest fear? Creepy-crawlies. Or abandonment. It switches back and forth.
When was the last time you slept? Last night
What was the last book you read? Oh, I’m in the middle of re-reading Jennifer Roberson’s Tiger and Del books, and I can’t keep the titles straight.
Michael Jackson: twisted freak or misunderstood genius? Mostly the former, possibly a little bit of the latter but I wouldn’t swear to it on court.
We all hate kids. What is your prefered method of disposal? Raising them to adulthood.
How might you best smite your neighborhood God back? Uh... confused here.
Did you ever make Barbie do naughty things with Ken? Ken has no genitalia. Barbie left him for Skeletor.
How about Skipper? How about Skipper and Ken? Please send us a detailed description of this sick behaviour! Never owned a Skipper.
What's your favorite movie? Your least favorite? I hate picking favorites.
What's your favorite television show? Your least favorite? What is this TV of which you speak?
What's your favorite food? Your least favorite? It’s just food.
What's your favorite animal? Your least favorite? Favorite = kitty.
Describe your perfect moment. Right now, the one in 45 minutes when I get to go home.
Have you ever stuck a body part in a pencil sharpener? Yes. How else do you get out broken leads that get stuck?
What would you change about yourself? Other people? Not much. I have learned to appreciate myself, and it’s folly to think I can change others.
Have you ever tried mind-altering drugs? Do you have any now? Can you send us some? Only if alcohol counts, and no.
How now brown cow? Only if I could be your pig.
Which is the sexier body part: Uvula or Kidney? Definitely the uvula.
Favorite place to drink wine? My parents’ dining room table
Do you like to smash things? Yep. But I restrain myself.
Do you randomly spit at people? Only when someone makes me laugh when my mouth is full.
Describe your perfect mate. I can’t answer that without being revolting
Who would you like to meet that you know online? Only a couple of people; I’m shy.
Have you been born again? Nah, I did it right the first time.
Have you ever laughed so much that you peed your pants? Not that I recall.
Would you stay in a relationship, even if you no longer loved someone, just to make their life miserable? not even close.
Has a stranger ever touched you in your inside parts No, and I really need to change that. Unless you count the dentist.
Who has made a greater contribution to 20th century culture: Winston Churchill or Britney Spears? No.
The red or the blue pill? I don’t remember.
Do you rock back and forth a lot? Are you doing that now? Not without a rocking chair, and no.
Whats your favorite color? Purple.
Office Depot or Office Max? OfficeMax. Office Depot is creepy. But here in town, it’s Staples anyway.
Do you repeat yourself alot? Yes.
Do you repeat yourself alot? Definitely the uvula.
Do you repeat yourself alot? My parents’ dining room table
Which Star Trek character would you like to have sex with? Picard. Duh.
Belly? Too much.
Suppose you found out that your beloved grandparents were secretly Nazis, and kept a lampshade made of human flesh in their attic, which, after their passing, they left to you. Would you wear it on your head? God no.
Do you prefer to bite or be bitten? Bite
Do you pick other people's noses? Does it matter if you know them? How bout their wedgies? God no.
What sound does the color red make? And how does it taste? Only the jump pilots know for sure.
Nipples? Oh, yes, please
Why do the French smell funny? Why are you sniffing them?
Do you think Tupac is still alive somewhere? Can’t say I ever thought about it.
Boxers, briefs, or leather cod-piece? Boxers, 9 times out of 10.
Eugenics: an idea whose time has come? No comment.
Have you ever carried on a conversation with your body parts? Yep.
Do you frequently see secret Black Ops Army helicopters hovering overhead? No
Have you ever walked down the street, weilding a hammer, and pretending to be Thor? No, but my boyfriend has a warhammer and I have free time tonight.
Do you ever feel like you're the only real person, and everyone else is just a robot, programmed to keep track of your every movement? No, but I feel like I’m a robot tracking other people.
Have you ever cut someone open to see if they had shiney machine parts inside them? No.
Do you sing commercial jingles in the showers? Sometimes, but more often Pubsongs.
Why did you keep reading this far? I mean seriously. Don't you have a life or something? Too stubborn to stop.